Stop Rolling Your Eyes and Try It-the Great Desert

               I've had it good recently. Like, the last 10 things I've reviewed have been things I like. TIME TO BREAK THAT STREAK! The Great Desert is a Legend of Zelda fan fic by Shadsie. The premise is that hundreds of years past the latest game, something happened that forced the Goddesses to turn Hyrule into a desert. Basically, an Old West Zelda story.

             I have no problems with the initial premise. It sounds interesting, and it is. The writing itself is great. The characters work, the dialogues good, and the descriptions fit. Many concepts are great too. Like how there is a Spirit Animal for every past Link, who train the new hero along the way. Or the subplot with the Kokiri. Generally, both the general ideas and how they are executed are beyond good, they're awesome. It genuinely feels like a Zelda game being made.

             So what makes me rage? Basically, two things. First of all, despite by earlier description and all common sense, this story does not take place in the Hyrulian equivalent of the Old West. Time and Tech-wise, it is Modern day. This fakes-out the audience, makes several plot holes, and generally seems like it would work better if it actually took place in an Old West setting. (One particular earlier mentioned plot hole really bites at me. So Link, and most people, don't believe in magic. At all. But later it's mentioned that the Hyrulians and Twili are trading partners. And that Twili live exceptionally long, and trade their magic goods in the kingdom. So why does Link not believe in magic if there is a large amount of evidence to the contrary!?)

          The second point is contained in the following paragraph. It contains spoilers for those who really want to read the fic. Those people should click here and not come back until they finish the fic. Seriously. Overall, you may wonder why I generate so much anger about something that seems to be pretty good. I don't deny the quality, for from it. It is written well, and the early stuff is awesome. But to me, the greatest fanfiction sin is to make something with a good premise, write it well, then fuck it up later. You get me invested in this story, connecting with the characters, then uppercut by feelings. I still recommend, if only to see what others think.

         For some reason, the writer decided to make Zelda sci-fi. Yes, you read that right. Link and co meet the Goddesses in their crashed spacecraft. While this seriously fucks with me, it wasn't that much of a problem at first. It seemed like an easter egg, like if this was a game is was some weird thing you'd find in the middle of nowhere, and was non-canon. But nope. Instead they call upon it later, and use it heavily in the plot. Seriously dude. The modern day was fucking with me at first, but at least you could explain it away by saying that magic still worked, but it's resources had dried and were now returning to normal. But with this it just plain says, "There's no magic!" What fucking bullshit. The Zelda series is loved, at least by me, for being a genuine idealistic fantasy series in a medium full of grim cynical sci-fi. Making it into a sci-fi does not help it at all, and only serves to raise more questions. So, in summation, FAIL!