I feel sick. I really hope you all appreciate what I did for you all. I thought, "Oh, they're so nice, reading my dribble, and how do I reward them? I don't update regularly for a month. I'll give them a treat and review something that they have heard about. I've never actually read Cupcakes, how bad can it be?"
And now I have the answer. It hurts. Really really badly. I have never gotten physically ill from reading a fanfic, or hell from any show of any kind. But this? Uhhh...
For those who don't know, Cupcakes is a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fan fiction by some guy who I won't look up because if I see that window again I might puke on this nice library computer. Pinkie Pie invites Rainbow Dash over one day to "Make cupcakes." She gives Dash a cupcake, which turns out to be drugged. She wakes up in some sort of...dungeon. It turns out Pinkie has been drugging, torturing, killing, and then making cupcakes out of ponies for quite a while, and now it's Dash's turn. What follows is Rainbow Dash being killed very, very slowly.
What really hurts about this fan fic is that it's good. Really good. In sheer quality it is written well, and the dialogue works. Too well in fact. Pinkie Pie's dialogue sounds...just like she does on the show. If she were a serial killer. That is a large part of why this fic hurts. It takes one of my favorite ponies, makes them into a serial killer, and does it so well that I won't be able to watch some scenes without thinking about this. Seriously, fuck whoever wrote this shit. This also hurts because I can't stand grimdark. I haven't run into a single grimdark fan fiction that I have actually liked. So ultimately, I hate this. With every fiber of my heart. If you like grimdark, or enjoy...Saw I guess, read this. Everyone else, stay away. I thought I could handle this. I was wrong. Run, while you still can.