Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Last Airbender Review

This review is a response to a person on Netflix's site who highly reviewed The Last Airbender, and was seen as "helpful" to many.

I have seen a 5-star review of this movie here on Netflix that many have found helpful, and in the words of Samuel L. Jackson, "Oh so you're finished then. Well allow me to retort."

I do not have a problem with Zuko's reveal of being the Blue Spirit done too early or Aang being betrayed. I don't have a problem with what they cut, overall. The problem with this rank pile of flying bison feces lies with:

A) The bending. Not only is their now a large delay between when you move and when stuff happens, but the film is largely inconsistent on how much motion each action requires. This isn't a problem with changing stuff from the show, but of making the fight scenes lifeless and dull. The show's action was breathtaking because of the speed and grace of which it unfolded, while in the movie it looks like a crowd doing interpretive dance while they wait for the magic to start.

B) The actors. Every single performance in this film with the exception of Dev Patel and that guy from the Daily Show is wooden and boring. I keep expecting the Mystery Science Theater 3000 crew to show up with the card that says, 'Dull Surprise!".

C) The Earthbender revolt scene. First off, the change from metal barge from in the middle of the ocean to a quarry is so idiotic that I temporarily go mute every time I think of it. Again, the change isn't the problem, it's the plot-hole it creates. When Aang pointed out they could use coal to fight in the show, it seemed like a bright idea and it was easy to see how the earthbenders were demoralized and the Fire Nation thought it was a good idea. When the Gaang points out in the film that, y'now, quarries are full of rocks and dirt, it seems like they're the only sane people while the Fire Nation and earthbenders are dumber than the rocks in said quarry.

Overall, the previously mentioned reviewer is not wrong. What he/she stated was an opinion. It is one, however, that I believe needs to be taken with a spoonful of cynicism. You can listen to her review and agree, and my day won't be any worse for it. I am however allowed to speak my opinion as loud as she does, and it is this: The Last Airbender is an abomination to film, cartoons, and art as a whole and M. Night Shymalan is a hack.

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